6 Signs You Aren’t Being True to Who You Are
The disconnect between our actions and our true inner intentions is sometimes hard to detect. We very often carry-on lives that deny who we really are and what we really want to do. We push away our notions of self-happiness and respect in a belief that it will somehow be beneficial to us at some point in the future. The problem is that we push ourselves so far down that we forget how to reach that part of ourselves. We forget how to take care and be true to ourselves.
Before that happens, it is important to see the warning signs that we are going down that path. This way we can stop ourselves before we get too deep too far in to our self neglect that we can’t reach ourselves back out. Here are some signs to be aware of.
You don't share how you think and feel
Especially with the ones we love, we often neglect to tell them how we feel about certain happenings. When things really start to bother us, we push down those feelings because we do not want to be a burden or bother to anyone. We might think that our opinion does not hold a high value, so it’s not worth sharing.
This is a slippery slope and a dangerous path to set yourself on. There is no way that you can be happy when you constantly disregard yourself. If you neglect yourself, that is what others will do, too.
You put others needs before your own basic necessities
While serving and helping others is a very noble act, you cannot deprive yourself of your basic necessities. When we give away so much that we begin to deteriorate ourselves, it strays away from noble and turns towards being self destructive. Even in a life of service, we will not be able to give to anyone if there is nothing left of us to give.
The more we build ourselves up, the more we are able to give to others. By depriving ourselves of our basic necessities, we bring ourselves down along with our leverage to help more people. The more we build ourselves up, the more we are able to give to others. By depriving ourselves of our basic necessities, we bring ourselves down along with our leverage to help more people. For the sake of yourself and all those who depend on you, you must maintain self and all those who depend on you, you must at least maintain your wellbeing and growth.
You begin people pleasing
People pleasing is a harder one to detect. All of us, on some level, want to be liked. Especially when we like someone, we want them to like us back. The problem lies and when we are unable to accept that someone might not hold positive feelings towards us. When we can’t accept that someone might just disagree with us, we begin to undermine ourselves to satisfy the approval we crave.
When we begin to crave the approval of absolutely everyone we meet, it leaves us available to compromise our own integrity. It often stems from when we start to question our own self approval. We begin to seek approval outside of our own judgment because we distrust our judgement. We lose faith in ourselves and begin to look for outside proof. The thing with faith is that it requires a level of belief, not proof.
When we begin to get too wrapped up in the approval of others, it is a good sign that we have lost faith in our own judgment. This is when we need to begin to take steps towards finding trust in ourselves again.
You abandon your values for common ground
Many people hold different values than you do. They don’t need to be better or worse, they are just different. Different things are important to different people. When we begin to believe what other people tell us is important in life, then we begin to lose track of our purpose and source of fulfillment.
Some will say that money, status, friends, family, or nature is where we should hold our highest regard and attention. While none of these are necessarily bad pursuits, some of them just might not be in line with your true fulfillment and happiness. When your values come into question, it is important to know that your own opinion on the matter is the most important. Other people might have figured out what is most important to them. Their values might really work for them. That does not mean that their values will work for you. Only you know what is truly important in your own life. You must trust yourself to guide your focus towards the right path.
You start trusting others more than yourself
Have you ever thought something to be true only to have someone else come and tell you something completely contrary? I would imagine all of us have it at some point. People have different opinions and different perspectives on what is true. That is their truth. Sometimes we decide to follow someone else’s truth out of a lack of trust in ourselves.
We might think, “Well, I thought ‘X’, but he says that ‘Y’. He seems very confident in ‘Y’, so he’s probably right.”
We totally disregard what we believe to be true simply because someone else is saying it. We may hold high regard for this person, which makes us trust them more than our own opinion or belief. Not to say that we should totally disregard any other beliefs or opinions that come our way. We should definitely take them into account and gain new perspectives on different possibilities. The problem lies when we totally disregard our beliefs and trust others by the simple lack of faith in ourselves. Obviously others might be more informed than us, but we have to seek to understand and not blindly follow. When we are blindly following the opinions of others, it shows that we are beginning to not trust our own opinions.
You don’t allow yourself to grow beyond where you are
When we grow, we change. When we change, we might outgrow those who we spend our time with. While our friends may be interested in the party life, we may be crying beyond that. It is important to allow ourselves to grow to something more than we used to be. That includes hanging out with people who promote the same values that we hold. If we don’t allow ourselves to let go of the relationships that hold us back, we will find that we are being held back from achieving our potential.
The difficult part is when our old circle becomes offended that we don’t want to spend our time with them anymore. This may cause some of us to disregard our values and continue to spend time in those non-progressive relationships. You need to let yourself grow beyond them and find new people that promote what you are trying to achieve.
If you think that staying in your old circle will maintain the friendship, then you are wrong. It will grow resentment within you. Your subconscious will attribute your old circle with the weight that hold you back from your potential. It doesn’t mean that they are pursuing anything toxic by any means. They just aren’t doing things in line with your current trajectory. For the sake of your selves and the longevity of those relationships, you have to let yourself grow beyond them. The friendship will be maintained even more that you did not allow them to hold you back.