8 Deathbed Regrets to Avoid Before Its Too Late
Regret is a very powerful type of pain. It wears down on your being as you age, and it is very hard to shake. They say the pain of action is sharp but light, but the pain of regret is dull and weight tons. While it may be morbid to think of regret in the eyes of the dying, it is a great way to realize the gravity of what regret can do to you.
No one knows regret better than one who is forced to face it. Here we take the most common deathbed regrets of those who are ready to cross on to the next place after this. While we are in this state, much of what we have left are memories of the life we lived. We hope to make these memories good ones to look back on. We try to minimize regret, so what are some of the most common regrets of those looking back at everything they’ve been through?
“I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.”
There are too many of us who live lives in devotion to ideas and pursuits fashioned by someone other than ourselves. Most often, it is the only we love who influence this in us the most. We believe that, since they love us and want the best for us, we should listen to them and follow their commands. While this logic is sound in a way, it is flawed. We think that following the wishes of the ones we love will build a relationship with them in the long run, but it actually does the opposite. The more we deny our dreams for someone else’s wishes, the more resentment we begin to build against them. As regret sets in, we begin to realize that they were the reason we didn’t follow our dreams, effectively destroying the relationship.
Follow your own will for the sake of all those who you love. It will preserve the relationships that you have and they will respect you for following your own path. If they can’t be happy for you, then it’s a question of how much they really cared in the first place.
“I wish I hadn't worked so hard.
This is such a simple notion, but so many of us overlook it. We get caught up in our work and our hopes for a better tomorrow. We forget to enjoy ourselves today. We push off our lives hoping that we can buy ourselves a better one. Meanwhile, our life is passing right by us.
Do not put off enjoying your life today on a promise that you will do so tomorrow. You do not know if tomorrow will come. This is not to say that you shouldn’t work hard towards a better future, but you shouldn’t deny yourself happiness now. Life is a marathon, you need to give yourself breaks along the way.
Imagine the memories that you might forgo for the sake of working. If your efforts are to fill your life with good times, the only working all the time can be counterproductive.
“I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.”
Not including all the health risks of holding in all your emotions, there are so many other reasons just for the quality of life. If you hold in your emotions, you are constantly alone even when you are its others. No one truly knows how you are or what’s going on in your head. It isolates you from all who you love and you will have to deal with the harshness of the work all by yourself.
Another example of why you shouldn’t hold in your feeling is that emotional expression is how we stand up for ourselves. It is important to know when your emotions are justified, but when they are, expression is the only way for justification. If we do not express our emotions when they are within reason, then we get pushed around and never get our opinion heard.
If one is afraid to express themselves out of the fear of rejection, then you aren’t really with the people you should be with in the first place. If the people you are with don’t want to love you for who you are, then it would be better to find people who will. Even if you can trick others into liking you, they aren’t liking the real you. You will always have a mask. Break free of this fear and you will be free to express your true self with others who can appreciate you.
“I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.”
Like any relationship, friendships require work and effort to maintain. It doesn’t have to be hard work, but there does need to be action to keep the relationship alive and thriving. You have to take the time to see them and plan events to do together. Like all relationships, the time and effort pay out in lasting support and companionship. The quality of our lives is determined by the quality of the relationships we make. If this is true, then we must make the effort to keep our friends and positive relationships in our lives.
“I wish that I had let myself be happier.”
It is a shame to go through this life denying ourselves from one of our most human rights. Every single person deserves to feel happy in their life. Some argue that happiness is the reason that we are here. It is too easy for us to get caught up in what we are doing and deny ourselves the happiness we deserve on the thought that we either don’t deserve it or can’t afford to experience it yet.
If happiness comes down to a decision with you, which most often it does, do not deny yourself that joy. Not only do we deserve it no matter our situation, but it is actually beneficial for us to experience it while pursuing our goals. I say this because we often deny ourselves happiness because we feel like we have not achieved enough. Denying yourself happiness actually hinders you from pushing yourself further in achieving those goals. Let yourself have that win-win.
“I wish I didn’t wait to “start it tomorrow.”
This is an easier one to explain. Do now. Do not hold off. You know what you’ve been holding off. Tomorrow never comes. They only way to make things happen is to make them happen right now.
Do not risk the chance of regret in your final moments. That pain will hurt much more than the pain it takes to make your goals happen.
“I wish I’d told others how much I love them.”
You never know when it will be too late. We can lose the ones we love at any moment, but we expect to live long lives with them. So often to loved ones leave without a goodbye. Don’t wait until it’s too late. That is not a regret anyone wants to live with.