Unconventional Traits of a True Friend
By now we have a good sense about who our real friends are. We know how friends are supposed to act in a general sense. Real friends aren’t supposed to screw you over. Real friends have a lot in common with you. That’s the thing. We all know the normal, conventional traits of a true friend's behavior. However, are we able to look beyond the conventional and see even more definite signs of true friendship?
We all know the basics. True friends are supposed to be honest, trustworthy, sharing interests, nonjudgmental, fun, and the list goes on. These are the basic one word traits that we used to describe people that we want in our lives. It is important for us to recognize that there are more complicated behaviors that friends adopt that show that they really care for you on a deeper level.
For all of these listed below, I do want you to recognize that your friends are human. Humans are prone to their flaws. They may extend a little too far in some and not enough in other traits. Being able to recognize these behaviors and the people close to you may help you understand the true motives behind the actions that may get on your nerves.
Real Friends Call You Out on Your BS
Have you ever had a friend call you out before? It can definitely be confrontational when it happens. It may not be so easy for some to take direct criticism from others, especially when that other person is a close and trusted friend. They might call you out for something that you said or did that might not be very just or called for. They may even call you out in a very blunt and assertive manner. However, it is important to know that this is more valuable than someone who would say nothing and let you continue a potentially harmful behavior.
Some friends just don’t want to get on your bad side. They will not risk any confrontation that might result in you getting mad at them, even if you are doing something that might be detrimental to even your own well-being. Many would just let you go about your business and not get involved. A real friend would be looking out for your well-being and tried to stop you from doing anything potentially harmful or just playing dumb.
If you are trying to jump a dirtbike over the Grand Canyon, a real friend might say that is a bad idea and talk you out of doing so at the risk of you becoming angry with them.
Real Friends Reach Out to You, Too
While this might not always be the case for every person, some people are very particular with who they decide to trust with their own personal matters. Some people lead a much more personal life than others, so when they reach out to you it is a sign that they trust and appreciate you in their lives.
While it may be something as simple as picking their kids up from school, they are trusting you to drive a vehicle with their flesh and blood in the backseat. It is important to know that action might be a big deal to them even though it is not to you.
Someone who trust you enough to do important and personal tasks for them most likely viewed you in a very high manner. It is always nice to have people who think highly of you in your life. They will push you to go beyond your limits and will be there for you when you need help.
Real Friends are Honest When it Hurts
Like we said before, real friends do call you out when they believe you were doing something they think is stupid. This is one side of being honest that is extremely valuable in a friend. There is another side to this coin.
Sometimes, even your closest friends will do something not so friendly. It is usually the people closest to us that are able to hurt us the most. Most people will hurt us, it is just a matter of who we are willing to suffer for.
The difference is who is willing to be honest about their shortcomings. If you have a friend who does something behind your back and covers it up, only to have it discovered in another manner, that is not a good sign or trait of a real friend. However, to have a friend come directly to you to confess any wrong deeds they have done is a very noble thing to do. They have gone past trying to fix what happened and are directly telling you what they have done. This is extremely difficult, to look someone in the eyes and tell them something that you did like this.
While it does depend on what they did, it is not a bad idea to take it into account that they told you directly.
Real Friends Sometimes Have Different Values and Opinions
Everyone is looking for friends who share the same hobbies as them. We all like friends who have the same values and opinions as us because it makes us feel like we belong. The problem with this is that having friends with the same opinions as you keeps you close-minded to an extent. It is actually very helpful to have friends with different values and opinions as you as it shows that you are open to different viewpoints and perspectives of the world.
Even the fact that a friend would tell you that they have different opinions than you is a good sign, as they are not trying to be a people pleaser or lied to gain your favor.
In addition, don’t be afraid to hang around people with different opinions than you. All they can do is expand the current knowledge that you have. Never be afraid of more information. If it ends up changing your opinion, then it was for the better.
Real Friends Are Sometimes Protective
Not in a selfish way. In a way to prevent danger. Like acting as a parent.
I am not saying that friends are protective in the way of keeping you all to themselves. There is definitely a toxic side of being overprotective and needy. This is touching on the more positive side of the protectiveness.
While it may seem strange, some friends might take on a nurturing parent-like attitude in some situations. They might stop you from taking another shot at the bar because they think you are way too drunk. They might make you study and go to sleep early in preparation of your test the next day. Real friends might actually start to act like parents to you and someways.
The whole point of all of these traits is for us to be able to recognize the strange yet positive characteristics of how true friends behave. They may not be conventional, but they are good signs nonetheless.