“We accept the love we think we deserve.”
― Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower
This is one of the large factors that contributes to the love interests we take part in. Often, we don’t find a loved one who is truly best for us. We find someone who’s style of love is familiar to us. This may be the love we experienced from a parent or old lover. This may be the love that we believe we deserve due to our mental image of ourself. It is important to look beyond this and seek the love that is best for you rather than what you’ve known in the past.
“It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.”
― Friedrich Nietzsche
There is a difference between lust and true love. Lust is merely the sexual desire that come between two parties. This can be easily mistaken for love as the emotional attachment is fierce. The difference is the friendship that come with it. True love includes the lust, but it also come with real companionship and understanding of the other person.
“The temptation to take the easy road is always there. It is as easy as staying in bed in the morning and sleeping in. But discipline is paramount to ultimate success and victory for any leader and any team.”
The easy way out is always there for you to take. Thats is the hard part about discipline and hard work. The easy way out is always just as simple as not doing what you are meant to do. That is why we must stay focused on the task. Stay focused on the reward. Do not let stagnation get a hold of you.
“A leader is best when people barely know he exists, when his work is done, his aim fulfilled, they will say: we did it ourselves.”
Leadership is not about having the fame or the recognition that comes with it. It is about the mission. It is about getting the job done. It is about changing the world into something better. The fame of it only taints your intentions. True leadership makes others leaders so that they can carry out the mission moreover.
“One ought, every day at least, to hear a little song, read a good poem, see a fine picture, and, if it were possible, to speak a few reasonable words.”
― Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
We should constantly feed our souls. We need to keep up our spirits in order to fuel the rest of our lives. We often forget to keep ourselves in mind when we make our to-do lists and agendas. We forget that keeping our soul fed translates into all else that we do.
“Once we accept our limits, we go beyond them.”
― Albert Einstein
Acceptance of where we are is the best first step in moving beyond. To build anything up, you must have a strong base to build upon. That base is the acceptance of your current state. This is when you locate your current location. When you find out where you are, you are able to find out the direction to move to get to where you want to be.
“They say faith is taking the first step when you can’t see the whole staircase. Actually, wisdom is seeing the elevator behind it that would have taken you to the top floor.”
― Shannon L. Alder
We should always be seeking knowledge that takes us to where we want to go anymore efficient manner. There is most often someone who has done what we want to do before. Its better to take the experience that they have had and use it to take larger steps than you could by yourself.
“It is not until you change your identity to match your life blueprint that you will understand why everything in the past never worked.”
― Shannon L. Alder
In order to get different results, you must take different action. Who we are directly correlates with the actions that we take every day that result in our habits. If we wish to make a real change in our lives, then what we do is what’s actually important.
“We can’t become what we want to be by remaining what we are.”
This is one of the biggest concepts that we must grasp in order to change. In order to become who we want to be, we have to let go of who we once were. This is where the matter of acceptance comes into play. Acceptance is letting go of the aspects of ourselves that are holding us back. While it may seem easy, we may have emotional attachments to those parts of ourselves. But in them go is for the greater benefit of yourself and your future happiness.
“Personal development is the belief that you are worth the effort, time, and energy needed to develop yourself.”
We are always worth the time. We are always worth the effort. So many of us think that it is not worth the time it takes to improve ourselves. We think that we have to be constantly moving and achieving. The time that we take to mentally improve, stabilize, and prepare ourselves for what comes next will improve our performance multiple times over. We must always sharpen our saw. Cutting down a tree with a dull saw is a waste of time and energy. It would be much more efficient to sharpen the saw and cut through the tree with much more ease and efficiency.
“Change is hard at first, messy in the middle and gorgeous at the end.”
When we are in our hardest hours, we can rest assure that this is what change looks like. This is what change feels like. change is not pretty. It is carved through difficulties and hard work. It is not smoothly massaged into us. It is chiseled harshly with a hammer. While it might not seem so organized, and we might feel like we are losing control, we are growing. We are changing for the better. It may not always feel as such, but know that you are growing internally.
“You cannot dream yourself into a character; you must hammer and forge yourself one.”
―Henry David Thoreau
All the aspects of our character that exemplify our good nature must be focused on intentionally. We cannot expect ourselves to fall accidentally into exemplary values. We must hold ourselves to a higher standard on purpose and with intention. We m all the aspects of our character that exemplify our good nature must be focused on intentionally. We cannot expect ourselves to fall accidentally into exemplary values. We must hold ourselves to a higher standard on purpose and with intention. We must forge our being with will and determination as it will not always be easy to uphold these characteristics, but it will be worth it in the added value of our character.
“Every moment of one’s existence, one is growing into more or retreating into less.”
We are either growing or dying, and that goes for all things. We are either appreciating or depreciating in value. We cannot expect to lay stagnant and rest on our laurels and still be held to a high standard that we set for ourselves long ago. We must consistently work on ourselves to grow and prosper into the next chapter of our lives. Growth is a basic human necessity that must be for filled, otherwise we were ask we cannot expect to lay stagnant and rest on our laurels and still be held to a high standard that we set for ourselves long ago. We must consistently work on ourselves to grow and prosper into the next chapter of our lives. Growth is a basic human necessity that must be for filled, otherwise we risk the decline of our happiness, health, and wellbeing.
They say a person needs just three things to be truly happy in this world: someone to love, something to do, and something to hope for.”
― Tom Bodett
They say it is the work of the common man to make simple things complicated, and it is the work of the wise to make a complicated things simple. We really cannot undervalue the simple things in life that can give us joy and for filament. The people we love, the things we do, and the things that we wish to do are tremendous motivators to push us to achieve more and strive for wellbeing. It is often the simple and cliché things that ring the most true. We are just too desensitized to them to fully think about and engage in their ideas. Do not overlook the simple and cliché.
“The only way to find true happiness is to risk being completely cut open.”
― Chuck Palahniuk
Loving at all is being vulnerable. Setting out to do almost anything requires us to be vulnerable. We have to be vulnerable to the possibility of being hurt. We have to be vulnerable to the possibility of failure. We have been vulnerable to the possibility of rejection, fear, anxiety, the unknown, and the undetermined. The risk is what gives us the reward. Often times, without the risk we cannot enjoy what comes after. We must be vulnerable and except what may happen in order to make what will happen come into fruition. Embrace the good and the bad, and nothing will be able to hurt you.
“Boys, you must strive to find your own voice. Because the longer you wait to begin, the less likely you are to find it at all. Thoreau said, “Most men lead lives of quiet desperation.” Don’t be resigned to that. Break out!”
—Robin Williams, Dead Poets Society
Robin Williams is the same one who said that we have a spark of madness inside of us that we can’t let it go out. That spark of madness is the core of our voice. We must try with every ounce of our being to find our true voice before it becomes too buried beneath what we show to be to others. Dig, dig, and dig some more until you uncover your true inner self. It is what burns inside of you that you wish to tell everybody else. It is the fire that keeps us going. Do not resign to that desperate life. Live in your fire.
Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.”
― Dr. Seuss
Wife is all about experiences. It is about the memories that we take with us to the end. Some of these experiences are great. Some of them we don’t like to revisit too often. For those times that you remembered that make you think, “This is what life is supposed to be!”— we know that they don’t last forever. Do not be upset what these times become our past. Be grateful that you could’ve experienced something so wonderful that it makes you wish you could live there forever. Be happy that you added another memory to the good ones that you like to go back to.
Those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.”
― George Bernard Shaw
Do not be stubborn. Do not hold any definite doctrines. Do not be so set in one way of thinking that you are closed off to any other opinion or fact on the matter. Always remain mentally nimble and ready to change when new information comes. Do not be the crotchety old person mad at the world for changing. Everything changes. It is our choice whether or not we want to change with it. If we shy away from change, then we risk stagnation. Stagnated waters become infected and remain isolated from the rest of the water that moves in the river.
Formal education will make you a living; self-education will make you a fortune.”
― Jim Rohn
After we are done with our formal education in school, we should not be done learning. In fact, this is where the real learning should begin. This is where we begin to be on bound by what we have to learn and you can choose what we want to learn. we can begin to expand on the subjects that we never had time to before. We can begin to improve ourselves rather than learning random pieces of information to pass tests. If it’s hard to figure out what to learn, then it is important to learn what you need to learn. We all have places that we want to go, in most cases knowledge can get us there.
I do not believe in making the right decision, I make a decision and make it right.”
― Muhammad Ali Jinnah
Too often do many of us get caught up in trying to make the absolute right and correct decision when it isn’t clear what that decision might be. In these cases, it is very easy for perfectionism to sleep in and totally paralyze us from doing anything at all. This is when many people give up or move onto completely new subjects. It is better to make the wrong decision and then to be stuck for the rest of your life. Make a decision and make it A good one by following through. You don’t need to be perfect, you just need to keep at it.
It’s really a wonder that I haven’t dropped all my ideals, because they seem so absurd and impossible to carry out. Yet I keep them, because in spite of everything, I still believe that people are really good at heart.”
― Anne Frank
Do not lose faith in your fellow man. No matter how bleak you may think others to be, choose to believe that people are better. There usually isn’t anyone that is truly against you, they are just for themselves like all of us are. When one starts to believe that the world is evil, it is too easy for them to start treating it like it is evil. How you treat something is usually how it becomes real. We create our reality by our actions and what we put out into the world. put out into the world of what you would if it were a perfect place, and one day it might be.
“You never know what worse luck your bad luck has saved you from.”
—Cormac McCarthy, No Country for Old Men
As humorous as this statement may be, it is something to think about. Imagine you were building a tower of dominoes, and in the beginning you unknowingly miss placed a crucial structural piece. When someone comes and bumps into your amazing tower, that piece of the tower crumbles. You may take it as bad luck. In reality, if they did not bump into it, you would have never caught that structural error that would have made your entire tower eventually fall. What seems like bad luck now may not be so bad in the long run, or it may even prove to be good without you even knowing.
“No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it is not the same river, and he is not the same man”
—Heraclitus of Ephesus
we are constantly changing and constantly evolving, and that makes sense because everything around us is as well. The good news is that we are not attached to anything in our past that we don’t believe serves our future. We always have a new chance to reinvent ourselves and change the way we see the ever-changing world. No matter how daunting life can get or how amazing things may be, it all will pass and change into something new. It is not inherently good or bad news, it is how you take it.
"Even a mistake may turn out to be the one thing necessary to a worthwhile achievement."
We very often don’t think of this possibility when seemingly bad things happened to us. Just like in The Alchemist, when the shepherd boy gets ill, he does not know that there might of been a group of bandits waiting for him ahead that he avoided. This is a huge reason why we should not be afraid of failure. When we fail, we learn and improve. If we continuously avoid failure in everything that we do, we might be for going and even larger failure that will inevitably happen if we don’t change our ways.
“We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as impossible situations.”
Opportunity most often comes out of what seems to be a bad situation. That is why people say that when one door shuts, another door opens. That is why some people say that some seed tragedy, and others see opportunity. The seemingly impossible has been repeatedly change throughout the years due to that impossible standard being broken. It is happened before, it is happening now, and it can happen for you. It all depends on how you see a situation. What may seem impossible to others will holt them right where they are. When you see the same thing, let it challenge you to achieve more than anyone else has.
"It is only because of problems that we grow mentally and spiritually."
— M. Scott Peck, The Road Less Traveled: A New Psychology of Love
Problems are not the enemy. Stagnation is the enemy. We should actually be actively seeking problems to solve. Don’t focus on needless problems. We should be focusing on problems that take us to a better place or teach us something new. Problems are a great way/the only way for us to improve our current state or to go anywhere. problems are not the enemy. Stagnation is the enemy. We should actually be actively seeking problems to solve. Don’t focus on need this problems. We should be focusing on problems that take us to a better place or teach us something new. Problems are a great way/the only way for us to improve our current state or to go anywhere. When we run into more problems in life, it is a good sign that we are moving forward. New problems means new places. New problems means you are further than you were.
"It isn't what you have or who you are or where you are or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about it."
— Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends & Influence People
Someone with absolutely everything in the world can be tormented by their own thoughts. If your own mind is not a sacred and happy place then anywhere is a hell. We must work hard at making our minds a safe haven for us to live in. We have to live in our own minds every single moment of our lives. This is why we need to learn, grow, except, and foster someone with absolutely everything in the world can be tormented by their own thoughts. If your own mind is not a sacred and happy place than anywhere is a hell. We must work hard at making our minds a safe haven for us to live in. We have to live in our own minds every single moment of our lives. This is why we need to learn, grow, except, and foster a healthy and nurturing mind for our own well being.
“People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily.”
It is true, motivation is very unreliable in terms of a lasting affect. That is why we must work at inspiring ourselves every single day, and every single moment. We must continue to push ourselves and give ourselves what we need in order to thrive. It is a continuing effort. Just like anything else, we can’t expect to get it and keep it. We can’t buy a car and never change the oil. We can’t take our significant other on one date and expect a happy relationship. If we put in constant effort, we will get constant reward.
“Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get.”
Sometimes it is important to remind ourselves that getting all the things that we want does not always make us happy. Getting the new sports car, yard, big house, fancy clothing, and nice dinners doesn’t mean anything if it doesn’t truly fulfill you. We can get everything in the world, but if we do not appreciate everything that comes to us then it will feel like we have nothing. We must take in everything that comes our way with a deep appreciation for where we are at and what we are doing. This is what true happiness, fulfillment, and success really mean.
“Remember no one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”
We need to stop comparing ourselves to others in terms of a better or worse scenario. We often don’t even need a direct attack from someone to feel less valuable. We just look at what they have done and deduct all by ourselves that we are inferior. We are all on our own path. We all have our own strengths. We all are completely different and don’t know the whole story. Don’t compare your chapter 2 to someone’s chapter 12.
“Life is 10 percent what happens to me and 90 percent of how I react to it.”
We always have a choice in how we react, and that choice determines our success in life. Life will never go according to plan. Life will not play ball. You must accept that. If you don’t, you will always be fighting the world, and that is a losing battle. Accept what comes and focus on what you can do about it. Focus on what is within your control. On thing that is always in your control is yourself. Change how you react, and you change the direction of your life for the better.
“We ourselves feel that what we are doing is just a drop in the ocean. But the ocean would be less because of that missing drop.”
We can often feel so small. When we jump into something new or even if we’ve been doing something for a long time, it seems like our contribution will be unknown and unrecognized. There have been so many that have come before us. There of been so many amazing and great individuals. How can we measure up? Rather than asking how you can measure up, ask yourself how you can add to what they did. Ask yourself how you can contribute and expect nothing back. All contribution is necessary and needed.
“But until a person can say deeply and honestly, “I am what I am today because of the choices I made yesterday,” that person cannot say, “I choose otherwise.”
— Stephen R. Covey, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change
if we cannot except the consequences of our actions, then we can never learn from them. Our change relies on our ability to objectively look at the past and make a correct of decisions for the future. We are meant to change and thrive. In order for us to pivot, we must be firmly standing where we are. There can be no denial of the truth. Once we know the truth, you can write a new one.
“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.”
— Viktor E Frankl, Man’s Search for Meaning
There often comes a time when we can no longer change our circumstances. In his times it is necessary to except what you cannot change. All growth stems from acceptance. Once we except the situation, we are able to change the one thing that we can always change. We can change ourselves. We can make ourselves anything we need to be to thrive in any situation that we are put into. We are so much more powerful than we think.
“Successful people are those who are willing to delay gratification and make sacrifices in the short term so that they can enjoy far greater rewards in the long term.”
— Brian Tracy, Eat That Frog
Most often, if we set out to achieve great things they tend to take some time and work. The biggest thing that gets in peoples way when trying to achieve is having patience to wait for the results. Everyone who achieve something great had to delay their success through doubts, second-guessing, overthinking, procrastination, and anything else that would make one quit. The difference is, they did not quit. They stuck with it through everything. That is why they succeed.
“When nobody else celebrates you, learn to celebrate yourself. When nobody else compliments you, then compliment yourself. It’s not up to other people to keep you encouraged. It’s up to you. Encouragement should come from the inside.”
— Jay Shetty
It is true. We must celebrate ourselves. We must be our biggest fans. We must do this because if we don’t follow ourselves, who will? If we are not someone that we, ourselves cannot get behind, and we are not living by our true values. Love yourself, celebrate yourself, and enjoy yourself. Be the example of how all people should treat themselves.
“You’ve gotta dance like there’s nobody watching,
Love like you’ll never be hurt,
Sing like there’s nobody listening,
And live like it’s heaven on earth.”
— William W. Purkey
Why does it make sense to limit our enjoyment of life? Is it to remind ourselves that it won’t always be that way? Is it because you don’t want to let other see you in that state? Is it because of a self-image? Well, aren’t those all reasons to have no limit on your enjoyment? If it won’t always be that way, shouldn’t you live it up now? Wouldn’t you want others to see you in a great state of life? Don’t you want to think of yourself as someone who takes life by the horns?
“It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
We must not forget why we have such great dreams to begin with. We have a life that we wish to make better or enhance in some way usually, but we often forget to live that life in the process. While the dream that we chase stays in the future, we lose the life that we are living right now. There is a chance that if we learn to live for the present instead of dreaming for a better future, we realize that we never needed to dream to begin with.
“Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.”
— Martin Luther King Jr.
We must be the beacons of change that we wish to see. We cannot just tell others what to do or how it should be done. We must lead by example. We must embody the new world we wish to make reality. When we do this, we begin to live in that world before anyone else. We create our realities. We decide how we live. When others see the quality of life that you are living based on your beliefs and actions, you will not need to do any convincing. It will be the obvious choice.
“You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You’re on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who’ll decide where to go...”
— Dr. Seuss, Oh, The Places You'll Go!
Even the most difficult times, we'll always have a choice.We could to make the decisions that steer our life.While it may at times seem difficult to discern between things that we can change and things we cannot, when we figure out what we have control over we gain control over our destiny. While the seas may be rough, we are still the captain of our ship. Trust yourself to be the leader that you need. Trust yourself to make decisions and learn from them. If you keep moving, you are bound to see land.
“It is never too late to be what you might have been.”
― George Eliot
As we get older, it gets harder for us to visualize our dreams coming into fruition. We have to realize that even though yesterday was the best time to start, today is the second best time at the least. There are people who graduate from college and start businesses in their 90s. While it might be better to have started long ago, it is definitely not too late to start now. The time it takes to get to where you want we will go by anyway. You might as well spend it getting to where you want to go.
“Can you remember who you were, before the world told you who you should be?”
— Charles Bukowski
When we were born, we were our purest self. We did not have prejudice, worry, self-doubt, or negative beliefs. We had to learn all of those. We were taught those by our interpretation of the world. We thought these beliefs would help us, but they hold us back from being free. Our true self is free from all these programming that the world convinced us we needed.
“Suffering has been stronger than all other teaching, and has taught me to understand what your heart used to be. I have been bent and broken, but - I hope - into a better shape.”
— Charles Dickens, Great Expectations
It is often the most painful experiences that mold us into who we are. They teach us so much due to our necessity to learn in order to keep on. While these time are by no means fun, they are our best means of growth. We do have to be mindful of how these painful experiences shape us, though. We cannot let the harsh make us bitter. We cannot let that which hurts us make us closed off. We must take what we go through and learn not how to never experience them again, but we must learn how we can overcome it for next time.
“There is no greater gift you can give or receive than to honor your calling. It’s why you were born. And how you become most truly alive.”
— Oprah Winfrey
It’s easy to forget what makes up special. It’s easy to forget what we like about ourselves if we doubt those things too long. It’s easy to forget what makes us us if we try to be someone else too much. It’s true that there’s only one you. If people wanted someone else, they wouldn’t come to you to get them. The best thing you can give someone is yourself- your untarnished, unprotected, unshielded self. Your calling is what you love to give. What other love to receive from you. We all have so much to give, and that is what makes us come alive.
“Before you heal someone, ask him if he’s willing to give up the things that made him sick.”
We often feel the need to help others escape from the toxic mentalities that they live in. We show them a way out and lead them on the path to get there. The problem it that some people are not willing to fully let go of the beliefs that bring them to that toxic place over and over again. If they are unwilling to change, they cannot be changed. That is the hard truth. You cannot make anyone do anything that they don’t want to do. We can learn from them. We can hopefully live as an example that might make them change their mind on their own one day.
“He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever.”
— Chinese Proverb
Do not be afraid to ask. It is the only way to learn. Questions are the doorway to knowledge. If we shy away from any question, however simple, it blocks us from that knowledge. The simpler the question, the less we usually know. The simpler the question we refuse to ask, the less we remain to know. You will be surprised how much more you can learn from simple questions.
“We must all suffer from one of two pains: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. The difference is discipline weighs ounces while regret weighs tons.”
— Jim Rohn
We get to chose the purpose of our choices. There are thousands of choices presented to us every day. Each choice comes with a pain. Each choice comes with a reward. If we choose right and take on the pain now for gain later, we get to grow and flourish. If we choose the quick reward now in an effort to forgo pain, we may live to regret it. Regret sticks. Regret is heavy. Choose the right pains, and your life will be filled with reward.
“True happiness is to enjoy the present, without anxious dependence upon the future, not to amuse ourselves with either hopes or fears but to rest satisfied with what we have, which is sufficient, for he that is so wants nothing. The greatest blessings of mankind are within us and within our reach. A wise man is content with his lot, whatever it may be, without wishing for what he has not.”
The best things in life are free, but do you really believe that? Do you see those things every day? Do you take time to notice them? Do you take time to be grateful for them? It is too easy to become discontent and want more out of the things we already have. We think in terms of a deficit instead of in abundance. With a deficit mindset, the best things we have will never be enough. We would want them to be better. We would want more than them. We would never be content. We would never be happy.
Live in Abundance. Take time to love what you have. Feel your gratitude. Accept it. Let it in. You have everything you need. It is just a matter of if you know that yet. You can have everything you need or nothing at all. It is up to you.
“There is only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that’s your own self.”
— Aldous Huxley
While we try to maintain control of everything around us, some things are not meant to be controlled. Some things simply can’t be controlled. The only thing we can truly control is ourselves. If you seek change, change yourself. If you seek peace, seek it within yourself. If you truly want to change the world around you, the best way to do so is by example.
“If you cannot do great things, do small things in a great way.”
— Napoleon Hill
We often think that we have to achieve massive, huge action to make a difference. This cannot be further from the truth. The smaller deeds that we do for each other that have a compounding effect that can amount to greater heights that thought before. Don’t overlook that small acts of kindness you can do for others today. Don’t overlook the small acts that you can do for yourself as well.
“There is nothing permanent except change.”
Let this serve as a reminder that nothing in this life is permanent. Nothing will be forever. Cherish that which you love because soon it may be gone. Don’t fret the hard times because they are sure to pass. Be grateful for the good. Know the bad is temporary. In the hard times especially, it is easy to start believing that there is not way out. Just because you cant see the path to freedom doesn’t mean it is not there.
“HAPPINESS IS NOT SOMETHING YOU POSTPONE FOR THE FUTURE; IT IS SOMETHING YOU DESIGN FOR THE PRESENT.”
— JIM ROHN
Jim Rohn reminds us that life is not a race to a future finish line that, once you pass it, you can be happy. Happiness is not something that you need to earn. Happiness is an ongoing action. It is not achieved. It is maintained. Even when we feel that we don’t deserve it, happiness is always available to us with a little bit of effort.
“THERE IS NOTHING NOBLE IN BEING SUPERIOR TO YOUR FELLOW MAN; TRUE NOBILITY IS BEING SUPERIOR TO YOUR FORMER SELF.”
— ERNEST HEMINGWAY
Ernest Hemingway reminds us that we are not in a race against anyone else in your lives. Whether they be friends, enemies, role-models, or family, our competition does not lie with them. We compete with our former self. If we aim to be just a little better than we were the day before, even by 1%, we are winners. True power does not come from superiority. True Power comes from growth.